Made in India, used in Pakistan

Scan your eyes over the two pictures. Who are they?


Pic 1: I don’t know who she is. She may be Lalita Pawar, Tun-Tun, Mayawati without a Garland or a guy with man boobs. I really don’t care.

Pic 2: You kidding me or what. It’s Sania (KAIM-O-KAIM) Mirza aka TOTA

Look at these thundering thighs, these ‘Tangari Kababs’ direct from the holy city of Biryani. These legs forced every young Indian boy to start watching Tennis. These legs never ruled the Tennis court but I so love them when the skirt flirts and flies with every wild intermittent moves.

Now, imagine them leaving India.
Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..!! My heart cries out loud just at the mere mention of my ‘Mutton ki Dukan’ being stamped as ‘Made in India, used in Pakistan’. Since when did Pakistan owe up to such an authentic product?

I got absolute no issues with Sania marrying Shoaib..... As long as she keeps on flashing her mesmerising thighs.

My issue is with all the celebrities/news reporters who make us believe and stir our souls as if they are the only Indians alive. The only ones who rule the media and hence, are branded as those who have the right to live, as they are TRP turners. Duh...!!!

Do you Guys remember 26/11? Okay okay don’t scratch your brain as if it is a scratch card which claims to have an assured gift..... I'll give you a hint..... Nariman point? I know you must be thinking, “Yaar suna suna lag raha hai, par ek aur hint de do toh bilkul yaad aa jayega”  Okay, last hint: A hotel in Mumbai near Gateway of India, attacked by terrorists, who were obviously from the accredited ‘Spread Terrorism’ nation ......... Yes that same incident when few Pakistani terrorists came to India, as if they have come to a massage parlour run by hot babes, and killed MY FELLOW INDIANS.

Every news reporter literally cried on National Television. Now, the same news reporters are congratulating Sania Mirza for marrying Shoaib Malik. They are congratulating them not because they want them to be a blissful couple; they are doing so because they have got a Page 1 story and a chance to become Barkha Dutt. (A secret for success if you are a journalist: Everything and anything related to Pakistan will get you instant fame.) Now finally they will be able to pay the EMI of their German car, Japanese TV and an English styled house. Thanks to Sania-Shoaib saga which made the world go gaga.

All these celebrities are Hypocrites who being self centric only think about themselves. Australian’s beat up Indians and whole Bollywood issued a statement that they will not shoot in the Kangaroo land. Raj Thackery’s men thrashed North Indians on camera and the same celebrities were numb about it.

Why is Indian media, celebrities so biased, mean and self-centric? In short: Saale sab Kaminey kyun hai?

It is said that Shoaib’s first marriage (YES, this monkey ass was married earlier too), with Ayesha Siddqui, was done via phone. GREAT!

I am guessing this is how it must have been done.

Ayesha to Shoaib: Afghanistan ki capital ka naam kya hai?

Shoaib: Kabul

Ayesha: Kya hain?

Shoaib: Kabul Hain

Ayesha: Awaaz nahi aa rahi

Shoaib: Kabulllllllllllllllllll Hain.

.............................. And the Nikkah was done. WoW, technology you see.

What about their honeymoon?

Shoaib would have sent a SMS to Ayesha saying ‘SEX’ and Ayesha would have replied back with ‘Pregnant’. The SMS was not delivered and hence Ayesha’s miscarriage happened.

I am sure even the ET’s won’t have this technology till now.

Sania Mirza have married Shoaib, have become a potential Pakistani, will leave India and settle in Dubai but will continue playing for India. Madam ji, hum Bharatiyo par itni mehrbani karni ki kya jarurat thi?

She wants to play for India because Indian celebrities get highest order of name, fame and money. Moreover, what will she get playing for Pakistan? A new embroidered Burkha? How can my bombshell do away with that ‘Oomph factor’?

As I can roughly calculate, there are more than 100 crore Indians and 15 crore muslims and all she could stick her tongue out for was Shoaib Malik and that too from Pakistan? I have to say, her choice is worse than Arjun Rampal’s acting and Vidya Balan’s dressing sense.

Had it been an Indian guy marrying a Pakistani celebrity, all Mahila mandals would have come out from hiding, blocked Indian streets and burned the poor souls’s effigy and abused him shouting their lungs out.

Sania Mirza’a effigy was also made, not to be burned, but to be touched.

All said and done, we have to give it to Shoaib Malik. “No Indian was able to pin-down Sania. He simply uprooted her.” In Mithun da’s words, “Kya baat, kya baat, kya baat. A grand salute from my side. Simply chumaishwari performance.

Kudos to Shoaib for the outstanding growth in his progress card. Not in terms of his career but matrimony. From Ayesha to Sania ..... Now that’s an accomplishment people, must agree. Shoaib’s laurels are better than the combined GDP of USA, China and India.

To Shoaib: Please leave Sania and her triple T’s aka Totally Totta Thighs in India. Indian government was about to start a scheme under which all the BPL people were supposed to be shown exclusive pictures of Sania Mirza if one had a Ration card. She was the only source of porn to the poor and needy. "Gareebo ke pet par lat maar kar tune aacha nahi kiya Shoaib."

DO YOU KNOW: Sania have got two rings pierced in her body. One is the nose ring. You won’t be able to find the second ring. EVER. So, why did you marry a Mysterious Girl and became Peter Andre?

To Sania: Do you know that a great part of Pakistan is ruled by Taliban and they have banned the use of condoms?
Your full body will be X-ray scanned at Pakistan airport every day, throughout your life.
I think you are intelligent enough to understand what I mean to say ... Oh wait ... If you were intelligent, you would have not married Pilpela Kela aka Shoaib (Banned from Pakistan cricket) Malik

To whole Pakistan: Saalo, Kamino ..... IPL3 mein Pakistan ko nahi khelaya toh meri ... I mean ... hamari Sania Mirza ko he le gaye.

First time in the history you have scored a point over India.

If you want Sania Mirza, then you also have to take Rakhi Sawant and Bobby Darling. Instead, give us Fatima Bhutto. << Treat it as the legal Visa processing fee.

Finally, Pakistan can prove that India is exporting BOMB to their country.


P.S. - From today, on seeing Sania Mirza’s photograph, I’ll stop telling my friend ‘Eh, teri Bhabhi ae’.

                               

                                                                                                    J.Walia