10+1 reasons why INDIA should win against Pakistan

As we speak, thousands of young Indians are calling their managers and convincing them that they have suddenly fallen ill. Some are blaming the office cafeteria’s food, while others are saying that their girl-friend forced them to say I Love You. Hence, onki tabiyat kharab ho gayi hai.

The most wanted, trusted, and respected person is the one who has the India-Pakistan semi-final match’s ticket. Guys are masturbating seeing the image of the ticket online, while girls are wetting their panties with the mere mention of the word ‘Mohali’. Some are offering their kidneys for a match ticket, while few girls are trying to seduce Punjab Police constables by wearing a deep neck suit without a bra, but no luck. NO ONE HAS THE TICKET. Ind vs Pak cricket match's tickets are so much in demand, that even if one sells Rakhi Sawant and Bobby Darling, then also s/he needs to add few thousand to get a ticket legally priced at ` 250. Even Sukhbir Badal sold his ticket for ` 5,000.

Indian PM, Pakistan’s PM and tons of Bollywood celebrities are coming to Mohali to witness the match of the century. A match, which is bigger than Pamela Anderson's silicone filled breasts. A match, which will be louder than Dolly Bindra’s fart. A match, which will witness thousands of tehnco savvy Indians searching, "Fatima Bhutto hot pics" and saying, "Saali iski mil jaye, chahe India haar jaye".
Bollywood babes have already bought hundreds of sanitary pads. They know that on 30^th March, many will pee blood. The stadium will be full of Bollywood Boobs and Political Penises. Whole world is dying to know that on 30^th March, kiski KLPD hoti hai.

Both India and Pakistan desperately wants to win, but are trying to sound cool by saying that it’s just a game and result doesn’t matter till the time they play well. Hmmmmm...... Isn’t it similar to what girls say about sex? Girls always say that they don’t need sex. All they need is penis true love, more penis commitment, and bigger penis trust in a relationship. Girls always want to have sex but in the end, blame it on guys for doing it with them. Yaar, koi jabardasti karta hai kya?
Anyways, cumming coming back to the topic, I think India will win the semi-final match against Pakistan.

Here are my 10+1 reasons why India should win.

1.     Have you seen Shahid Afridi’s pose of standing still with both his arms up in the air, making a victory-sign after he gets a wicket? Well, I think Shahrukh Khan’s pose of raising his arms in the air, which he does atleast 15 times in his every movie, is much better. Both are pathans which means, by default, both are gays. So if I have to choose a gay, it will be an Indian gay. Hence, India should win against Pakistan.

2.     Pakistan already took Sania Mirza from us. Due to this, more than 1000 guys were left virgin in Hyderabad. Those poor guys still masturbate watching WWE’s Bikini matches. So, if India wins against Pakistan, the victory will be dedicated to  all the virgins of Hyderabad who still believe in the phrase, “Apna haath Jagannath”

3.     As Vivek Shauq said in the movie Gadar – “Baap, Baap hota hai. Aur beta, beta hota hai. Beta, Baap main se aata hai. Pakistan. Hindustan main se aaya hai’’
Being Pakistan’s father, it’s our janam sidh adhikar to win the match. Baap of cricket, Sachin Tendulkar, is also an Indian. "Jab Sachin ka dhai kilo ka bat ball pa padta hai toh ball udti nahi... Ud jati hai". Indian team without Sachin Tendulkar is like a boob without nipple, and with Ashish Nehra, it is like hair on the nipple. We have chucked out Nehra, hence we now have a very symmetrical boob team now.

4.     For Indians, Bhenchod is a gaali, but for Pakistanis, it’s a vardaan. Pakistan cricket team should lose so that Pakistan ki awaam calls them bhenchod, and I’m sure they’ll feel good.

5.     India ki Shiela bhi jawaan ho gayi hai aur India ki Munni bhi badnaam ho gayi hai. Kuch nahi hua hai toh Sachin Tendulkar ka World Cup uthane ka sapna. It’s high time we give our dadu, Shri Kapil Dev, some rest, and let someone else pick the world cup.

6.     If India wins, both Jacky Bhagnani and Mimoh Chakraborty will be happy, and they might forget to ask their respective dads to finance their next movie. Since, bollywood movies are in great demand in Pakistan, just like Veena Malik’s nude pics in India, so both the nations will survive the top notch acting skills of these world’s best actors. It’s a win-win situation for both the nations. Therefore, Pakistan should lose.

7.     From 1411, India’s tiger count has increased to 1706. Even tigers are fucking each other. It’s time we fuck Pakistan, make them bleed blue, and then do their nasbandi.
Give me some sunshine, give me some rain... Dear India, fuck Pakistan so hard that they can once again feel 1947, 1965, 1971, Kargil and Kashmir's PAIN.

8.     ACP Pradyuman is an ACP from last 12 years. If India wins against Pakistan, ACP Pradyuman might get promoted, and then he will no more ask Inspector Daya to break the doors. Dear India, apne ghar ke darwaje bachane ke liye, please win.

9.     If Pakistan loses, Shahid Afridi will be renamed as ‘Shaheed’ Afridi. In a country, which has only produced terrorists till date, this is a golden opportunity for them to finally get a Shaheed.
Just to set the record straight, India will win tomorrow and gift a Shaheed to its son, Pakistan.

10.  I’ve written so many one-liners in favour of India’s victory against Pakistan. For eg.
      Jab tak Suraj Chaand rahega, Pakistan hamari RAAND rahega!!
      1947 mein nikaal di thi Pakistan ki masti, tab se bani betha hai woh India ki Ghasti.
If India loses, my creations will go waste. Dear India, please win for the sake of my status updates and tweets.



+ 1. The only reason why Pakistan DESERVES to lose is this video:

       

Personally, I've a very good, cheap and effective way to seduce Pakistan to defeat. Tell Pakistan that if they win, they'll get close to the World Cup, but if they lose, India will gift them an Adult Camel.

A CAMEL!!!!

I'm sure Pakistanis will prefer to lose.

                                                                                                                                             - J.Walia