Kaash

Kaash mein hota KAMINA
Phir har ladki mujh par marti – Deepika, Shilpa aur Raveena
Dhokha mein deta sabko, phir bhi izzat karti har haseena
Kaash mein hota Kamina, phir kya khoob hota mera jeena

Sache ladko ki ladkiyo ko jarurat nahi
Chehra hai sundar par dil khoobsurat nahi
Guzar gaya woh zamana jab aurat thi pak-pavitar
Ab toh har koi hai Chandalika, Sita si koi murat nahi

I wish I were a playboy, I wish I were a player
I wish I’d fuck girls with my seductive glare
For girls love is a game and guys are the toys
Like police, they’re also in the search for bad boys

But I’m happy I’m not Kamina, glad  I’m not a part of betrayer’s arena
I’m happy with one, with her, mujhko marna, mujhko jeena
I don’t cheat on my partner because I know that’s a sin
And when they betray me they actually make me win

Kaash mein hota JHOOTHA
Phir koi bhi na kabhi mujhse rooth ta
Ameer-gareeb phir mujhko pujhta
Aur har koi mera haal chaal puchta

Jhooth hai ji duniya Jhootha hai sansaar
Yahan peeth piche dost karte hai vaar
Ab toh prayavachi hai jhooth aur pyaar
Insaniyat par laanat, Insaan par dhutkaar

Liars – Today’s Livewire
They burn you down to ashes without using fire
They’re manipulative, they’re society’s vampire
Try to avoid them as they’re known to conspire

Like everyone I also lie, and lies are always uncouth
But my lies are harmless, more of futuristic truth
I don’t live to lie, I don’t lie to live
If I’d ever lied to you, kindly forgive


Kaash mein hota BEWAFA
Har cheez mein dekhta bas apna nafa
Dhokha deta har ladki ko, chahe woh ho jaati khafa
Ab toh yeh sab purani baatein – Sacha pyaar aur wafa

Pyaar, Ishq, Mohabbat sab kal ki baatein
Ab toh har koi manaana chahta hai bas rangeen raatein
Zindagi bhar saath nibhane ke vaade tut jaate hai do pal mein
Bewafa saja lete hain naye sapne, Sache jeene lag jaate hain beete kal mein

Betrayers free themselves but they enslave the true soul
They play the love game but themselves don’t fully portray their role
It’s so easy to leave someone, but it’s hard for the one who is omitted
Why don’t betrayers try something more challenging, like staying committed?

LOVE – The best thing you could give and receive
Be true to everyone, please don’t deceive, please don’t leave
Make her your fairy, be her king
It’s an honour to be someone’s everything

Be committed in LOVE, be true to One
Loving the same person throughout your life is the real Fun

Be committed to your FAMILY, be a good daughter and a Son
Make your parents proud, let them feel they’ve Won

Be committed to GOD and be accountable to None
He is the supreme power, he’s bigger and brighter than the Sun

Be committed to YOURSELF, be the medicine of your own Poison
You know you’re the best, you’re precious than the Bullion

Be committed to OTHERS and get happiness in Ton
Help the poor and needy, then only our job will be well Done

I am brought upon good values as every human should
I can be a bad boy but I try to be good
I’m happy being a loser rather than being stamped as mean
I’ll eventually win with my good deeds, that’s my scheme

It’s better to be cut down than to bow down when it comes to fundamental values.



                                                                                                      
                                                                                           - J.Walia

You can personally interact with me on my Facebook Page - J.Walia's Blog

An Open Letter to Sunny Leone

Dear Sri Sri Sri Sunny Le.One Ji

First of all, I’m thankful to your mother for giving birth to you, and to your father for lending her his Anmulle sperms. May god bless their departed souls and lure them with 72+72 virgins. They have no idea how much of a noble cause they have done for humanity by having sex 30 years ago. They didn’t sleep for one magical night and today, no one is able to sleep at nights - Few due to their jobs in call-centers and rest due to your religious and spiritual movies.

Secondly, thank you for coming to India. Now whenever my girlfriend goes through “Don’t Touch Me!” syndrome, I just tell her how good, perfect, professional, accurate and open-minded you’re in your movies and immediately she says, “Arre, mein toh mazaak kar rahi thi. Tum haath kya jo marzi lagao Jaaneman”.
Thank you very much. I owe you one penis.
You should have come to India before Diwali. Indians spend billions of rupees on getting their homes re-painted. Had you come a bit earlier, all the male members of the family would have painted the walls white. Free ki whitewash ho jati.

Since the day you entered India, average Indian penis size increased from 4.0” to 6.3”

Aapki shaan mein likhi kavitao ke majmooen se ek haqeer si kavita pesh kar raha hoon. Aapki nazar nawazi ka muntazir rahunga.
 

Sunny Leone… Aapke jaisa hai Kaun
Aap meri jungali billi, mein aapka Don
Aapki wajah se meine dekhni shuru ki Porn
Sunny Leone … Aapke jaisa hai Kaun

Aapki movies ne uda rakhi hai meri raaton ki Neendia
Aapki movies ko meine computer mein kar rakha hai Mr. India
Aap mehenga piyaaz, baki pornstars toh Bhindi-a
Saari Bollywood heroines aapke aage Chindi-a

Sunny Leone … Aapke jaisa hai Kaun
Meri GF banjar zameen, aap green Lawn
Whole world is thankful since the day you were Born
Sunny Leone … Aapke jaisa hai Kaun

Nasheeli aapki aakhein, Raseela aapka Badaan
You owe my Tan, Maan, Dhaan aur L…
Priya Rai aur  Silk Smitha, dono aapke aage Zero
In your next movie, I want to be the Lead Hero.

Sunny Leone … Aapke jaisa hai Kaun
You look good with or without a Thong
You’re Mother Teresa of Porn
Sunny Leone … Aapke jaisa hai Kaun

If ‘porn’ becomes a religion, you will be the goddess.

Hina Rabbani doesn’t even deserve to be your mistress. Poonam Pandey looks like Gai ka Gobar in front of you. You’re Aamir Khan of Sex, Shahrukh of Blowjobs, Salman of fake orgasm, and Sunny Deol of Kamasutra poses.
You’re Silk Smitha of world, Savita Bhabhi of Universe and Miss Pooja of seductive voices.

You’re the reason why my right wrist is rock solid.

You’re the reason why I turned MARD from a boy.

You’re the reason why the song, “Mere mehBOOB qayamat hogi” was made.

You’re the reason why Atal Bihari Vajpayee and Parkash Singh Badal are still alive.

You’re the reason Why this Kolaveri Di.

You’re the reason why the term ‘Apsara’ was coined.

You’re the reason why Silk Smitha committed suicide.

You’re the reason why I haven’t turned gay by now.

You’re the reason why the TV commercial “Kitna deti hai” was made.

You’re the reason why I love pussy cats.

You’re the reason why I sleep in my office and not at my place.

You’re the reason why Christopher Columbus thought America to be India. He always knew there is some connection, deep connection.

You’re the reason why I stopped missing Desibaba.com

You’re the reason why Indian public started purchasing colored screen phones and upgraded to a Broadband Internet connection.

You’re the reason why Sharad Pawar didn’t cry after getting slapped from Harvinder Singh. He knew if he would cry, it will create a bad impression on you.

You’re the reason why Harvinder Singh slapped Pawar because Singh knew Pawar is trying to create an impression on you.

You’re the reason why SRK is thinking to end his love relationship with Karan Johar and Arjun Rampal.

You’re the reason why I prefer my omelet Sunny side up.

You’re the reason why Indians started using tissue rolls.

After 9 months, there will be 100% population increase in India.

By just chanting your name 5 times, a man can ejaculate. You’re a natural cure for erectile dysfunction. I’m sure by now every Indian must have Googled, “Sunny Leone WITH clothes picx”. Best thing about you is that you look beautiful even in clothes.

Jab se aap aaye ho, India ki raatein bhi Sunny ho gayi hai.

I’m sure if your BF asks you whether you're a virgin, you’ll reply with a firm YES. #EveryGirlisSame

Sunny, I want to be your bitch.

P.S. - I typed the whole article with just one hand.     *wink*

                                                                                        - J.Walia

You can personally interact with me on my Facebook Page - J.Walia's Blog

SRK-Gauri Phone SEX

Tring Tring .. Tring Tring

Gauri: Hello, kaun bol raha hai?
SRK: Rukh Rukh kar mein Shah Rukh bol raha hoon.

G: Acha, kya kaam hai?
S: Kkkkkkkkkkuch nahi.. Waise he I Love You bolne ke liye phone kiya hai.

G: Bol diya na! Chalo, ab phone rakho. Mein kapde change kar rahi hoon.  *Giving 1st Hint*
S: Mmmmmmmmm. Yummy.

G: Hatt Naughty. Mera night suit nahi mil raha!!        *Giving 2nd Hint*
S: What are you wearing?

G: Bas tum ladko ko ek cheez he chahiye.              *Please please ask again, I won't do any more drame*

S: We love each other na? Pyaar mein yeh sab jaruri hota hai. Batao na what you are wearing.
G: Bra.One

S: Woooooooowwww! Uttaro na…
G: Na.One

S: You trust me, no?
G: Haan.One

S: Remove baby, remove your Santaro ke cheelke..
G: Na.One

S: Why? Is someone there?
G: Ya, Pra.One

S: Tell your brother to Ja.One
G: K.One

S: Is he gone?
G: Ya.One

S: I drank Complan and now my penis is Bigger, Taller and Stronger!
G: Wah.One

S: Shall I insert it in you?
G: Yes, Pa.One

S: You like it?   AhAhAaaaahhhh.One
G: *Yawn*   Hanji, tusi te pa tah  Gaa.One

S: Ah Ah Ah.One
G: *Snooring*   Wah Wah Wah.One

S: I’m about to come. I’m about to blast…….. t t  T  T   Tha.One
G: *Rolling Eyes*   Duh.One

S: ZzzzzZzzzzzzzZZZzzz.One

G: Iska toh ho gaya  K.O. One

Tring Tring .. Tring Tring

Gauri: Hello, Sallu.... Shahrukh toh ek baar mein he thak kar so gaya.... You come.    Tu Aa.One
Sallu: Kamaal karte ho Pandey Ji. Mein abhi aa kar bajata hu Pungi.One



                                                                                   - J.Walia

P.S. - You can personally interact with me on my Facebook Page - J.Walia's Blog

Harvinder 'SLAP' Singh - The MAN

NOTE: This comic (Lame attempt) was created for pure humour. I totally support Harvinder Singh.

                                                       Please join Harvinder Singh's Facebook Page.

                                                           - J.Walia

P.S. - You can personally interact with me on my Facebook Page - J.Walia's Blog

It's been FOUR years....

Char saal ho gaye papa nu swarg gaye
Char saal ho gaye meri zindagi nu narak hoye
Char saal ho gaye rishtedaara nu aaj v farak nai penda
Char saal ho gaye mera parivar ander var-var rounda

It’s been four years since I lit my father’s pyre
It’s been four years God burned my family’s desire
It’s been four years his photograph still smiles
It’s been four years his soul went into exile

Char saal ho gaye mere yaar nu vichre hoye
Char saal ho gaye mere sansaar nu bikhre hoye
Char saal ho gaye mere parivaar nu fikari hoye
Char saal ho gaye mere pyaar de tukde hoye

It’s been four years I hate father’s day
It’s been four years I’ve seen no hope embedded ray
It’s been four years I’ve lost my faith in pray
It’s been four years this world has become a stray

Char saal ho gaye aaj v rouna ha roz
Char saal ho gaye aaj v ho jana ha behosh
Char saal ho gaye aaj v rabb layi haiga hai aakrosh
Char saal ho gaye aaj v papa di kar reha ha khoj

It’s been four years and now  I’ve dried up my tears
It’s been four years and  I’ve developed more fears
It’s been four years I’ve become over protective for my near and dears
It’s been four years my life hasn’t shifted any gears

Char saal ho gaye mummy nu cheeti chunni leinde
Char saal ho gaye papa de aad-vichkar bane hoye sweater reinde
Char saal ho gaye papa de naam aage Late likhde
Char saal ho gaye rabb nu aaj v mere dukh nahi dikhde

It’s been four years I’m crying a silent cry
It’s been four years I’m giving life a second try
It’s been four years my blood is running cold
It’s been four years his memories aren’t turning old

Char saal ho gaye 26^th August nu rounde hoye
Char saal ho gaye raati na sounde hoye
Char saal ho gaye sochde ki kaash aaj papa hunde saade naal
Char saal ho gaye………….. CHAR SAAL

It's been four years I still regret every moment I shouted at him
It's been four years I still hate myself for the anger I routed at him
It's been four years I've been carrying the responsibility I once mounted on him
It's been four years since I last counted on him. 

Papa, you were a star that broke and exhibited light
Papa, you were a calm sea that allowed everyone to swim in your heart
Papa, you were the saint that God has stopped producing any more
Papa, you were the knowledge that everyone wanted to quest
Papa, you were as humble and peaceful as the colour white
Papa, you were the Everest that everyone wanted to conquer, but only few lucky ones like me had the privilege to do it.
Papa, you were the reason why the phrase 'Friend, Philospher and Guide' was coined.

Papa........ I miss you Yaar :'(

Love you Daddy  :)

In loving memory of Late S. Manjit Singh Walia



Love <3

Mummy, Didi, Pizzo te tuhada puttar, Prince

I wish I had told my dad that I Love him one more time before he passed away.


                                                                                                                       




                                                                                                                                                      - J.Walia